All right no joke, a ghost grabbed my hair.

I was in a sleepy state- half asleep and half awake here in the my hotel room in Nashville, TN.

It was a couple hours ago around 10 am. 

I am the only person in here and I was laying on my side and felt a hand grab my complete head of hair but not tightly.

I did not get scared I simply smiled because it’s nice to have company.  I also have had re-runs of Spongebob Squarepants playing throughout the night and morning so I hope he or she enjoys.

Just wanted to share that with you! Ta-Ta!!!

Melissa 

 I went out with an Australian guy who I met one night while doing a show at the Comedy Store.  We exchanged numbers and met up one night at the Farmer’s Market in LA.  We met up to eat and as expected, I bought my own dinner.  Always a bad start for a date, but this was not a bad thing compared to what happened next.

 As I gobbled down my Chinese food and he gobbled down his water, because he was broke, I noticed something.  I noticed something in his cave of wonders on his face.  A booger.  A booger just hanging out.  Let’s name the booger, “Bradley”. Bradley seemed a little shy and was contemplating on walking out of the cave to see the sun.  This dude couldn’t even tell or feel that Bradley was ready to live a life.  I am going to say I am a freaking expert at knowing if I have some little guy hanging out in my cave.  I usually get my boogie and toss it into space.  By the way, I don’t care about letting my boogies fly.  Who is going to notice such a tiny thing on this great big planet?  Let the birdies have a bouncy ball to play with. Anyway, this guy had no clue for nearly three hours.  I swear I saw the booger light a cigarette and read the newspaper.  What the hell man?  So this dude kept talking to me but the only words I heard coming out of his mouth was, “So the thing about boogers is… Nice boogers were having today…what do you do for a booger… so glad that we got a chance to boogers”  

Well I never saw this guy again and I think he wanted to go out another time.  I simply said, “Sure!” but never replied to his text.  I just don’t want to be involved with a boogie man.  I thought I got over my fear of the boogie man as kid but nope!  I will always be afraid of the boogie man now. I just hope that Bradley got his chance to live a life and go to college.

Melissa :)

This image popped in my head and had to draw it.

Got a hair cut at 11 am this morning! It makes me feel better and lighter!

Tonight I had a show then I came back to my apartment feeling scared and panicked.  I cried and felt as though I was mourning a loss.  I took a hot bath and went out to grab food with my friend while in my pajamas and I wore my crocs.  Made me feel better.  When things get dark, feeling wacky is the way to go to feel better!  

Love you guys! Also! My show “Melissa!” is going to be February 11th at Steve Allen Theater 8 pm!  Looks as though my facebook invite is hoppin’ :) 

http://www.facebook.com/events/345120602267722/permalink/345180528928396/?notif_t=like

Sorry I had to call you that.  It sounds funny and cute to me.  I hope you are doing good. I can honestly say, this week has had sunshine for me (metaphorically and realistically speaking). Although, I notice that each day is a roller coaster for me because I tend to drastically feel happy then sad then angry and then I am up again.  Hmmm…

Could be that my emotions are sensitive and break-ups sting. I had to let go FINALLY of the guy that was ruining things for my soul. It was time.  So now I am doing my best to mend and take care of me.  It’s hard because I think of him, miss him, and wish it can go back in time to the good times.  I also sometimes damage myself by thinking “What is he up to right now? Is he out with some girl?” That thought makes my body shiver.  But I can’t worry about someone that doesn’t worry about me. That’s that. It’s done.  

BUT! I am currently on the road doing shows at colleges this week.  Last nights show was good, but the one before that was completely weird.  I expect weird college shows so I don’t care.  I have performed in cafeteria’s where all I can hear are some college kids eating food.  (Dumb).

I have come up with new jokes though!  Success!

It’s freezing though! 7 degrees to maybe if I am lucky 20 degrees during the day.  

My best friend Renee accompanied me on this trip! She is now becoming a big part of my comedy lifestyle and life! She’s family now! She loves traveling with me as well as going to all my shows! She’s super great!  Plus! She’s have Chinese and I love asians! She was cracking me up today on our drive in the rental car.  We were talking about men and she said, “I am really into thug black guys.”  Made my day. Then she proceeded to show me pictures of her past with some black dudes that seemed pretty cool and may I add, they were hot.  No joke.

I have finished reading, “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and I loved it! Definitely going to read the other two books!

I finished crocheting my baby blue scarf which turned out really pretty I must say! 

Check it out for yourself! I made a shell style pattern!

Anyway, I am going to bundle up and write some jokes ( I hope) and write in my journal. Oh! Also! I got this awesome book called, “The Scribble Diary” which I highly recommend! Every page you let out your thoughts and feelings and fill in the blanks!! The author is Lisa Currie! 

Okay, have a good day and will post more soon!

Melissa 

Cried a couple of times today.

I am allowing it to happen. I listened to Taylor Swift’s song “All Too Well”.  Really great song! haha never thought I would dig her, but now I do!

I am in North Carolina now and first show is tonight at Goodnights Comedy Club.

I am excited because I have a few new jokes to try out as well as all the other new material I have been working on. It’s all personal and it all means something close to my heart.

I spent the day walking around the cute village nearby the hotel. Cute shops and restaurants. May go to a bar down the street later and have a good ol beer! It’s nice and cool, good Christmas weather! I feel sad. 

I had nice moments though. I purchased that Grinch hat in the picture I posted earlier. Grinch movie with Jim Carrey is by far my favorite christmas movie. He is my inspiration.

I went to have a lunch at Cafe Carolina. Got a turkey club, chips, and a salad… and sweet tea!

Then wandered over to Starbucks and had a hot chocolate… but I am going to avoid Starbucks since I have them at home. Going to try the other coffee and bakery shops instead.  There is one called Sugarland and it’s all decorated Christmasy and they have the tiny little Christmas houses in the window.  It’s very nice!

I walked by a house and saw through the window, a family with tiny little kids, sitting down at their dinner table eating.  I had a vision of the guy I love being married and having kids.  Then I realized that is by far the most depressing thought! 

I continued walking and now back at hotel. Going to focus on practicing my jokes as well as working on my upcoming show on Monday “Melissa!”.  Need to make sure i have all the sketches memorized as well as the Christmas songs I am going to sing.

I know I am being emo, but hey, it’s all part of life!!!

Melissa :) 

First of all, I want to say I am not trying to get pity or have anyone feel sorry for me.  Boy, I am thankful and have many blessings! But this entry is simply therapy for myself and perhaps can help others who are going through break-ups or feel that they are not good enough…

So…

I began dating a guy, won’t say his name, last summer of 2011.

I also began getting ants in my bathtub… will let you know later in the story why the ants make sense.

From when the guy and I met, I really liked this one. We began to date.  We were always dating and he never became my boyfriend. He wanted to just keep it fun and not make things too serious.  I agreed, even though my heart wanted more. Oh many times I cried to myself thinking I was not worth being with.  Many SMART people would have said from that point “STOP DATING!” But, I pushed aside myself for the sake of having him.  So, I blame this on me.  

Anyway, a year goes by.  It’s still the same, but of course with many memories included.  Went to Disneyland many times, karaoke, dancing dates, drove to his family’s house 2011 Thanksgiving weekend, he went to my families Fourth of July party… many fun times.

By Fall of 2011, I began performing a lot on the road. Clubs and colleges around the U.S. (WHICH IS WONDERFUL! I DON’T FORGET!) But it was overwhelming for me to bomb so many times on stage, being scared on every airplane, and going from hotel to hotel alone.

Spring of 2011, I had even more shows to do around the country. Literally, every other week I was gone. I soon was constantly depressed. On top of my other road fears, I had more anxiety from missing him. I had the constant worry of “WHAT IF HE MEETS SOMEONE ELSE WHILE I AM GONE? WE AREN’T TOGETHER. IT CAN HAPPEN. I HOPE HE DOESN’T…” I would get back in town and things were fine and went back to normal. We go out on fun dates again. We have fun. I go back on the road and that anxiety keeps on coming back.  

Inside, I always had hope and I always thought someday he will see and want to be with me. March 2012, he ends it and I’m heartbroken. April comes around and we wind up back to dating. July 2012, we both agree to end it.  August comes around and we get back on track.

Ever since we got back to dating in August, I began to feel angry. Angry at myself and at him.  I would feel I am not worth being with because of being close to him and seeing him often and it supposed to not mean all that much as what my heart wanted.  I wanted him to be mine. No one can ever get what they want.  

Today. I say it’s time.  Hadn’t heard from him for a few weeks and my heart was telling me, no more. I fell in love with him and never once said it. I told myself it’s just for fun.  Spending a lot of time with someone for a over a year obviously can make the heart and soul feel many feelings.

I realized today that I rely quite a bit of my happiness to generate from him. I really should never had but, I got used to it. I pushed aside my heart and said shut up for a long time. I finally came to my senses and let my heart speak.

I cried at the coffee shop today and hid my face with the book I am currently reading. (The Collector)  I got embarrassed to be crying around people so I quickly left. I didn’t mean for the tears to pop up so fast! hah.  Once I got home to my safe apartment I let it out.

I quickly had to stop being a baby and get to my rehearsal for my upcoming show on Monday. I saw my good friends in my show, Margot and Anthony.  They could tell I was crying. I told them whats up and man does it feel great to have friends. They made me giggle in a second.

I went about my day feeling happier and rehearsing for the show and then went to my music rehearsal for the songs I am going to sing on my show. Then did two stand-up shows and just now got back to my apartment.

The sadness sets in again, as I should let the tears happen! Gotta let it out! Normal.

I decide that I believe it would feel good to let him know that I loved him for quite some time, but obviously it was such a dangerous position for me to be in.

It felt better to get it off my chest.  Now there is absolutely nothing else I want or need to say.  I have to do this to take care of myself. 

I set the bath to fill up hot water. I get in crying. I cry a bit overboard hahah. I then began to feel incredibly alone.

Then all of a sudden my cat Ella says, “MEOW?” with a question in her voice.

It made me smile. I forgot that she lives with me at that moment. I forgot that I have a wonderful roommate! I said, “ELLA! Oh thank you for being here for me.” No joke, she answered back with another, “Meow.” She even peeked in the tub and she has never gotten that close to the water before.  She sat real close to me.  Then as I am smiling at her, I see three ants walking around on the edge of the bathtub. Suddenly, I had company. I had three little ants and Ella near me and I let out a little giggle. I stopped crying. I got out, wrapped myself with the towel (pretended I was a burrito for a second) and then put on my Christmas pajamas.

And here I am on the computer typing :) 

I just wanted to share that with you!  It just always feels great to get things off my chest. I feel better and time can only heal things.  So many wonderful projects to look forward to and of course… CHRISTMAS!!!!!! AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND COMEDY! 

So lesson is..

BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.

… (that’s also the title of a really great Journey song!)

Melissa

Okay this Thanksgiving was eventful! 

My parents and brother Andy picked me up bright and early on Wednesday to drive up north to spend Thanksgiving with my sister Ally and older brother Mikey! Just as I was expecting, my parents are blasting the Christmas songs the whole drive up! Brought me so much joy! We stopped and ate lunch at the usual stop, Harris Ranch.  We get to Berkeley by 2 pm and pick up my sister.  On our way to San Francisco!  We get to the Hilton, unload our luggage.  My parents made reservations for one hotel room because of the expense.  So!  The five of us squished in one room and reminded me of the kid days when the total of 6 would stay in one room.  That means a lot of farts and fights!  Mikey lives in the city of San Francisco so obviously him and his wife remained at their place. My mom and sis shared a bed and my dad and Andy shared one and I had the rollaway bed! I love rollaways! It was really cozy! 

Look at how cute my sister is! This particular morning I yelled at Ally, “Get over here and cuddle with me!” She ran over and this is her cute little face as I took this photo. 

Thanksgiving day was wonderful!  We all went to breakfast at a beautiful hotel called, “Fairmont hotel”? I am trying to remember.  I believe that was what it was called. At this hotel, I ran into a cute doggy named Norman, who coincidently looks almost identical to Boo, the famous dog.  They both have books out and Norman was in town for his book signing the following day at the store, “Humps” in Union Square. Here is a picture of the two of us:

Following that, we went to the movie theater and saw the new 007 film. I found the film very funny but I should not be allowed in movie theaters.  I guess I am somewhat of a talker.  I mean, there were so many parts of the film that just made me laugh and I can’t hold in my laughter.  Once the film ended, the guys in the row in front of us said, “THANKS FOR RUINING THE FILM FOR US”.  The way they said it was almost believable as though they had a good time with us, but soon realized it was sarcasm.  As usual, I never have a comeback at the right moment until later, I thought I should of said, “YOU’RE WELCOME! ANYTIME!”  But that probably would have ended with a punch in the face.  Whatever, those guys can’t live the life of Bond so don’t take it so seriously- geesh!

By the time Thanksgiving dinner approached, my Mom was getting on my nerves.  Left and right was either a negative comment on my blue hair or nit picking at things that she knows would push my buttons.  My older brother, Mikey and his wife Melissa, (I know she has my name) were hosting Thanksgiving dinner at their apartment and it was so special and cute!  Delicious dinner.  Although, I was shoving down the drinks.  I had about 5 or 6 drinks that night to make me loose and be happy as to avoid the negative words my Mom was throwing at me.  It soon turned to be a wonderful night.  As all the holidays unfold, family arguments always are expected, but at the end of the night you have to be thankful that they at least they are there in your life to argue with.  We as a family are all together on a special day.  

Here is a picture of my Dad cutting the turkey!

Took this piece from a chapter from my book… 

These were some of my thoughts as a kid: 

Hope I can learn how to tie my tennis shoes soon.

 25 days till Christmas.  Am I going to get my Polly Pockets this Christmas? The one with the light up hot air balloon? I did! Santa is the best! He’s real… he’s really real!

 I hate when the rice on my plate touches the meatloaf! They need to be separate!

I don’t like being in my parents car and I have to sit in the middle seat and my brother sits on the left with his legs taking all of the room!  My legs have no room! Hit him! Start a fight!

Man church is sooo boring… oh wow, that person is really old.  The stain glass windows are so colorful… I like when we get to sit down… I do enjoy singing along with the choir… I want to someday sing at church and be the lead singer… okay so we are at the first reading right now, then comes the second reading, then the homily, then the Eucharist, and then church is done! Then I am free! Oh wait, they need to collect money in the baskets… too bad that I am a kid and have no job! Bwa-ha-ha!

Oh boy! Today is Friday!  That means TGIF and ordering pizza!! Yay!!!! I love Sabrina the Teenage Witch!  She is so cool! I wish I had magic powers.

I am going to marry Lance Bass someday… I have proof that I will.  We are perfect for each other.  He enjoys mac n’ cheese like I do and his eyes are so pretty and his voice is so deep and manly!

I just peed in my girl scout uniform!  Oh no!  Oh no… I am going to cry! Don’t cry! DON’T CRY! Okay… cry… “MOM!!! Can you tell my mom that I peed?!  I couldn’t hold it! WAhhhhhhh!”

Today in class we are learning how to tell time.  I think I can do it.

My best friends are Christina Vane and Elizabeth Falaro. 

I don’t know the answers to this test. 

I hate math and reading.  My teacher told my Mom that I have a hard time comprehending what I just read.  I have to go to tudoring now.  I hope it helps. 

Nobody likes Kimberly in my class.  I feel bad for her.  Everyone makes fun of her and says that she smells like pee.  But she is really nice to me.  I did see her peeing in the sink in the girls’ restroom once.  But I know what it feels like to really have to go badly.  

My goodness! 

I had my first show of “Melissa!” last night at the Steve Allen theater and I couldn’t be happier!

It was so much fun to be in sketches for my characters and to have a really funny cast along with me by my side. I learned how much time and help is needed to run a show such as that one. Sketch after sketch I had to change into different costumes and since I played a lot of male characters, the moustaches as well. I love playing male characters and always will! 

Here was the set list of my show:

1. Old man from audience does Britney Spears singing impression

2. Stand-up/Monologue

3. Pirates

4. Cesar the Mexican comedian

5. Kat and Friends

6. Don Day Thanksgiving

7. Owen Wilson and Acting Coach

8. Airport Trouble

9. Medley: Man in the Mirror/ If You Really Love Me/ Somebody to Love 

Just experiencing my first show and creating it I realized if I had a TV show this would be it! My stand-up monologue, sketches, and singing songs at the end! I slept in until 12 pm today, I think my body must have been drained from rehearsals for 2 weeks straight, but I love being tired from something I truly love! What is better than that?! Today was another great day! I went back into Adventure Time and recorded a few characters voices. Always a fun time there! Everyone is so wacky and silly. :) 

Well I better get packing! Off to Jacksonville, Florida tomorrow to perform at The Comedy Spot Thursday through Saturday! 

Lastly, to everyone who came to the show… thank YOU! It made it so much fun having you there! Hope to see you and many new faces at the December show on the 10th! 

Here is the Facebook invite: http://www.facebook.com/events/427196860668039/?fref=ts

LOVE,

MELISSA!